Did you know that it is "Griswold"?

Okay, so in my Christmas festivities I watched Chevy Chase's National Lampoon's Christmas vacation. All this time I thought they were the Griswalds. That is what we have always called them. SO now I am the idiot who claims they are the Griswalds when I actually meant that we are the Griswolds. Oh well. You get the idea. Our family is just as problematic as theirs.





On a different note. I am compiling Luke stories. Unfortunately I have blocked some of the more painful ones from my memory. So if you have a favorite, please share. As I write them down I will put them on the blog. Then I might finally have something to write about.

Ode to my kitchen

Okay, don't everyone drop dead at once! I know it has been a full month since I have blogged. I am working on the once a month plan, what do you think? So I am starting off with the kitchen. This hideous beast is my kitchen (or was). Notice first, the size. Yes this is the entire kitchen. I have no counter space since to the right of the sink was my microwave and to the left is where my dish drying rack was, since the dishwasher has been broken for several months. The sad part is that the dishwasher is only a couple of years old. I couldn't wait for the new kitchen and took a saws all to the cabinets to add this beauty. These brown cabinets (which are really just shelves nailed to the wall with doors on the front) are the original. They were built and installed in 1947, perhaps I should give them to a museum. Too bad they are now in shards. The linoleum however was an update. The original linoleum was even uglier and in worse condition than this, imagine. The electrical is another reason why I loved this kitchen. Wires were hanging out of cupboards and under cupboards and all over in side of them. We also had just one outlet, which the microwave was plugged into. If you tried to use any other appliance in addition to this the breaker would flip. My neighbor was just telling me about how her daughter is dying to update her kitchen as it is 30 years old. Okay, my kitchen turned 60 this year! And it is time for an update. Thank the lord. Andy and I just delve into it on Monday. In a couple of hours we managed to devalue our house about $30,000. My kids were terrified. "how will we eat now?" I am sure they just thought I was in another one of my bad moods. :)

So, serious dust. I was dying! I got to go at it with the sledge hammer a while though, that was fun, but a little bit scarey. So anyway, Andy broke a pipe, flooded the basement when the dishwasher was unhooked, broke the panel for the alarm system (with a falling cupboard) and put a few holes in the wall (including the dining room, which made me sad). But Andy is quite the worker, he got it all ripped out in no time.

Including 4 inches of flooring!Last picture. This one is for Kristen who thinks my house is a filthy pit anyway. What do you think now? Sorry for the most boring blog ever. I'll update you in a few days so you can see our progress. I am sure you are waiting with baited breath. Try to control your anticipation......

"What's up? Chicken Butt - that's what!"

Ah-ha! Aren't I funny? These beauties are my sweet little chickens (the white one is self conscious about her tail feathers). So last night as I was checking on the chickens in their new coop I was feeling their underbellies by their bums. They are so soft! They are the best pets, they eat your bugs, fertilize your lawn and garden, they are quiet and rarely run away. They never bite and always let the kids hold them and chase them around. You should all be jealous.

Today was the best part of having a chicken. I went out to feed my chickens this morning and lo and behold guess what I found in their coop? You will never guess! The cutest, tiniest brown egg. The first ever. A mama couldn't be prouder of her babies. Evie was estatic and so was Luke, I even went out to check for more eggs 4 times today. I told April that I feel like my food storage was now complete. I have my own supply of fresh meat (not the chickens, just the eggs). So if the flu epidemic the commericals are talking about actually happens, you can come to my house for an omelet...

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Entering the Monastary

This blog is dedicated to my cute brother Colton who just entered the MTC. We are so proud of him for taking this leap of faith. The top picture is of Colton and his girlfriend Amanda (and Luke and Evie ofcourse). Amanda was bawling on the night Colton was set apart, it was so cute. I leaned over to Colton and said "That's gotta make you feel good!" We all want some one to miss us when we leave. Colton asked a friend of my parents "Do they have more hillbillies or rednecks in West Virigina?" She said that he would come home loving hillbillies. It was so fun to walk back through the MTC. I spent 3 1/2 months there 10 years ago and it hasn't changed much. In some ways I was so jealous of the missionaries entering, they are off on such a fun adventure. The world awaits them. In other ways I was thanking my lucky stars I was not entering the MTC. We called it the nunnery. I felt like I was being untrue to myself trying to act all preachy and spiritual instead of the quirky girl with a lot of conviction. And I was just so tired!! Every time I think of Colton I want to take a nap. This is the boy that could never get up before noon and thinks he'll be able to get up at 6am no problem. He is stubborn enough though that he would never tell us if it was hard.

We had a lot of fun getting my mom's house ready for the farewell. She has been in desperate need of an update and some cleaning out and since she was so overwhelmed with everything else she just let me do it. It was so fun! I was worried that I should have had my decorating team (April, Kristen and Brooke) with me, but it turned out alright. She let me buy her a new couch, end table and I spent $400 at TJ Maxx buying pillows and decor and such. I put half of her living room out on the porch for the DI and cleaned out a few of her kitchen cabinets. It was so fun to spend someone elses money for a change! Then my brothers girlfriends and I spent the day cooking and bonding, it was a great time and I can't wait until my little family gets some sister-in-laws ( I believe that will be a ways off though). So in short, I am so proud of my brother and miss him terribly. I think about him all the time and what he must be doing at this time of day, etc. So until you get back Colton! (Then you can challenge me in a game of settlers!)

I love you! Teb

p.s. this is what happens when you lose a lot of sleep and spend too much time together.

(me and my sister kate)

I have been so boring

Okay I know you are all dissappointed in me for my lack of blogging. I just haven't felt very creative as of late. It is almost as if my life revolves around dissaster and if there is nothing to report, then what would I blog? Here is an explanation on the blog below. My husband put it on. He thought he was on his blog and come to find out it was mine instead. I did explain to him that a "diuretic" was in fact something to make you pee and that the video he put on was of Luke and not Isaac. So the stories behind the blog are this.
Isaac had the most painful BM on the planet. He was screaming and I felt so bad but there was nothing I could do. The next day I told Andy that we needed to start giving him Miralax again. Come to find out Andy and I were both adding Miralax to his drinks and he got WAY to much laxative for one little boy. The next morning the crap in his crib was unbelievable. I mean REALLY outstanding.
This video of Luke was taken after he had redecorated his room in feces. He was two years old and angry that Evie had been born. I felt so bad leaving him dirty while I filmed but I just had to record the moment for posterity's sake. The sad part of the experience is that this was the first of many poop spreading incidences. He got into his poop every time he pooped for the next year and almost a half. I would find it on the TV, in his rug, on his face and everywhere else. It was a traumatic time of my life and I am glad it is over.

Isaac's Poopoo experience

Lesson Learned,

Make sure you communicate with your wife on giving your children diaretic medication. We doubled up and this was the outcome!

It's a big world out there!

I didn't realize how sheltered I am until tonight. I came to the shocking realization that life is going on all around me. Exciting and new things, a wealth of knowledge and culture. I started a class tonight. It runs for 11 weeks every Tuesday and Thursday night from 6-9. It is a breath of fresh air to experience the world. Did you know that other people do other things than raise children? People are busy working and joining groups and being engaged. They don't all stay home and cook and do dishes and clean up diarrhea. The class I am taking is on tax preparation. I have always enjoyed this, I think because I like getting money from the government. My text books look exciting (not really) and consist of about 2,000 pages, which I will be tested on at the end of the course. I also have homework, scary, it has been a long time. Okay so one of the men in my class is a refugee from Sierra Leone. This is so exciting because I just finished reading this fabulous book "A long way gone" and watched Blood Diamond (I know it is R but I just couldn't help myself after reading this book). I spent every spare second tonight peppering this man with questions about things he probably wanted to forget. His wife, sister, brother and a parent I believe were all killed in the conflict. He escaped to Guinea and then came to the states 4 years ago. Absolutely incredible that things like this are going on in the world and I know nothing about it, until now. My life is shallow and small and I want to change that. I was asking him all about the organization they have in Utah for refugee's of Sierra Leone. I am hoping I will be able to find a way to contribute in some small way to these people. I was thinking of you Doug as I spoke with him. I know you are teaching this book this semester and thought his insights on the war (probably not the sentence structure) might be of some use. I think we should all get out of our comfort zone more, don't you?

p.s. who won the election?

Mayoral Elections

I watched the debate on Fox today. Did anyone else? What did you think? I am still undecided on who is the best candidate. I think Jenny Wilson and Dave Buhler shot themselves in the foot today. I believe Keith Christensen is more of a one man show (he is all about running the city as a business - I can't remember the term he kept using). I like Ralph Becker but he has a few black marks. He doesn't support the skyway. I know nothing about the skyway except that the church wants it, is that reason enough to want it too? Andy thinks so. He also is against vouchers. Vouchers were a major accomplishment in the last two sessions. They allow so many of our communities Autistic kids to go to Pingree without the exuberant cost. I really don't care about any of the other private schools, just about Autism. Selfish of me isn't it? Are those two negatives enough for me not to vote for an otherwise great candidate? Could vouchers continue on even without the Mayors support? I am not very familiar with the politics involved here. Overall I believe Ralph to be a methodical thinker who will actually accomplish his goals. He is well thought out and seems generally interested in the public's input. I like that. Gee, I can't wait for the presidential debates to start. Another question. How do you feel about the church closing the stores on it's properties on Sunday and not allowing liquor in it's stores? It seems like it is a mall with lots of restaurants, who is going to agree to these policies and rent their space? I don't know of any mall that is closed on Sunday and very few people want restaurants that don't offer some alcohol. I would be interested in everyone's view.
Side note. Andy wants me to let you know he has started his own blog. He got tired of not being able to put what he wanted on mine so he got his own. Please feel free to check it out. Also, if you read this please comment. Anyone can, even you Dave. :)

Why me God?

It is the classic question. I have not asked it many times in my short life but sometimes it just seems like I can't get away from it. I have read all of your blogs. So sweet and full of nice sentiments about your families and life. Kristen talks about the priesthood, Brooke about her love of baking and pumpkin, Katie talks about how much she loves her little girl (and the wolves). What is wrong with me? I feel like I am consistently negative. Sure sometimes I can laugh, but sometimes I am just depressed. It has been a rotten week. The only good part about it in fact is that it has been so bad that now I have no reservation in sending Luke to school and Evie to preschool. When I talk about what has happened I always think back and say "Well that wasn't so bad, those were just a few little moments in a long week." But it doesn't help. I love my children and every time I hold them I love them like I might never get to hold them again. At the same time I don't think I was cut out to be their mother. I really believe I might need to be institutionalized. On that note I will embrace, reluctantly, that my life will never be like yours.
On Monday I went to Sam's Club to pick up a few things. I took all three kids, which I try to avoid at all cost. The first time Luke went missing, It didn't even faze me. I looked for 15 minutes before I finally went to Customer Service for help. "CODE ADAM" they announced over the intercom and all the employees went running around looking for my little boy. It was embarrassing and I have thick skin. When Luke went missing the second time in the same trip to the store I was bound and determined not to ask for help. I looked and looked. He was nowhere. Finally one of the associates saw me without him and asked "Is he missing again?" She helped me look and the search got wider with more people involved. We checked the bathrooms, the closets, the back rooms, everywhere. Half and hour later there was still no Luke. I was in tears and truth be known (this was a scary realization of how desensitized I am) I was not crying because I was worried about my son, I was crying because I was so dang mortified and hated the looks people were giving me, the mother, who lost her son....Twice. The whole store went out on a search, as everything had already been checked multiple times to no avail. Finally I hear "What is that child doing up there?" Luke had climbed up to the top shelf, up to a play set on display and had disappeared in side. "I was hiding from you mom!" Was all he said. I put a dog leash on around his waist and listened to him scream the rest of the way out of the store. (He sounded a little like golam when Sam puts the rope around his neck) He had been hiding from me about 40 feet off the floor. Nice.
The rest of the week had it's normal ups and downs. As part of our nightly ritual Luke grabs a flashlight and heads out to the chicken coop to say goodnight to the chickens. He must climb inside the coop to do this because he likes to rock each one and sing them "Rock-abye-baby". After about 10 minutes I was tired of waiting and took Evie inside. I sent Andy outside a little while later to check on him. He was screaming on the ground. Apparently he had fallen out of the chicken coop and scratched his cornea. His eye has been swollen shut for several days now.
Yesterday was the kicker. We went to Swiss days up in Heber. Last year we lost him twice, so this year we made him wear his dog leash. He hated it and fought and screamed, learned how to get it off and would run. I decided to put it on his shirt tag and tie him to the tree for a bit so I could eat. (How inhumane!) He just ripped his tag out of his shirt. I was tired by the end of the day. We left early, stopping at the port-a-potties on the way out. Luke went in a stall and I went in one. When I came out Andy still hadn't seen Luke. I banged on the door, no answer. I was sure it was him so I tried to jimmy the door open. The maintenance guy said jokingly. "Hope he didn't fall in!" I opened the door to find two feet sticking out of the toilet hole. Luke had been reaching in to grab the poops and put them in the urinal. Why? We still don't know. I remember thinking "I wish I had my camera, this would have made a great picture for my blog." Andy was worried he could have drowned. I was not so concerned, it wasn't too deep he would have just had a nice swim and we would have come in to find his head and not his feet sticking through the toilet hole. At this point I just gave up. Why even bother trying to live a normal life anymore?
Andy said as soon as we got to the car. "If I hadn't just pulled my son out of a toilet I might have considered having another baby." We'll see. Pray for my sanity please.

Condoms...

#1 This blog is inspired by Luke. What is it with my kids and Andy's Condoms? Today Luke got the condoms out and tried them on as gloves. Usually he just tries to fill them up with water or blows in them. Why? Why has he wasted so many condoms so repeatedly? It's not just him, Evie enjoys it too. I guess I was once fascinated by condoms. My darkest secret Lillie (my cute Autistic niece asked me what this was recently, I couldn't think of anything I was willing to tell her, she is a total sieve) is that once when I was babysitting for a neighbor I found their condoms and opened one up, just to check it out. What is worse, is that when I was done I put it in the garbage by their bed, wrapper and all. I didn't even try to hide it! What was I thinking. I believe it was in my favor that I was exceptionally homely, naive, and that the neighbor I was tending for was a very open OB/GYN. I don't recall if they ever asked me back. :) My parents Nanny once found a condom wrapper on the floor in my parents room and was so freaked out about it that she called all her friends. "Do I throw it away?" "Do I kick it under the bed and pretend I didn't see it..." What is the big deal? Only parents should have such a dilemma and only if they find it in their children's rooms.

#2 Well, I was going to update this blog with a special treat for Brooke, but due to some technical difficulty it will have to wait. Sorry. Teton Springs was fun, another case of the Griswald's going on vacation. My niece broke her foot, the brothers got caught in a horrible storm and couldn't summit the Tetons, we had torrential rain, someone brought up a flu bug and we all got it. But it was fun anyway. Lukey puked in the candy store right before we came home and I got to drive home with puke in my shoes and all up and down my pants. JOY...

#3 I am addicted to Grey's Anatomy. I think in my next life I will stay single a little longer and be an OB. There is something about pregnant women. Oh well.

A week at EFY

I know you are all jealous. Not many 30 somethings get to go to EFY. For me it is the first time and I didn't know what I was in for. I am in Cedar City with 40 councilors and 270 youth. The kids are off with various relatives and while I was sad to leave them (especially Isaac) I haven't missed them too much. How sad is that? Every time I call them they are all screaming and crying. Evie keeps saying she wants to go home, but I'm not ready to jump into life again yet. My new days consist of a maid and free meals that require no dishes or cooking on my part. Awesome. Andy speaks a couple times a day, and I even spoke for a little in today's morning side. We go to classes and devotionals and even dances. Everyone is out to get me in the spotlight. The councilors and Andy. Last night they made Andy and I try out for the dance contest in front of all the kids. Humiliation! But it was a great time, I am a teenager again. Enjoy these videos. I hope they make you laugh. (I'll have to figure out how to get them turned around.)
Tausha

Hello, We're the Griswalds!!

Um okay, now what? So Kristen made me promise to set up a blog. I actually love to write and wish I had time to do it more often. It would be nice to keep a record of all the crazy things that go on in my life, like 8 chickens, Luke and Andy (need I say more!?!). So, a quick bio. I live with my husband Andy and my three kids, Luke(5), Eva Mae(3), and Isaac(1). We recently became the proud owners of 8 chickens which I have the privilege of putting to sleep each night because they are not smart enough to know where their coop is. Some random facts about me are: 1) I can only see out of one eye, pray I don't try to park next to you! 2) I am an Anthropology Major and spent a good amount of my college career identifying bone fragments of various North American Mammals 3) I at one time spoke Cantonese, now I only smile and nod 4) I have really random dreams, mostly about my friends husbands, so sorry 5) You think you have family issues? You have no idea!
Anyway, I hope to update this blog with the latest Luke catastrophe's, please tune in!
Tausha